My God is red hot!

RightNation.US member lyria checked out the scene as the visiting Benedict XVI made his way through the nation's capitol today. According to a delightfully hilarious post by lyria, the hawkers were strange enough, but:

The real show was the protesters. I love a good freakshow. When I heard the angry voice through the bullhorn, I was expecting a gay rights group, a reproductive rights group, or maybe something about female ordination or the pedophilia scandals. No..... They were protesting the existence of Catholicism. No, really, they were. I am not joking. Once I realized it, I started looking for the Death Cookie Chick tracts! Alas, they had none. I was hoping to expand my collection...

Sorry for all net shouting, but since the bullhorn was right in front of me only excessive use of capital letters can really capture the moment. He never actually looked at me except the one time, which was weird.

Bullhorn Guy: .... YOUR GOD CAN DIE! THAT'S WHY HE RIDES AROUND IN A POPEMOBILE!
Me: Excuse me.
Bullhorn Guy: OUR GOD IS ETERNAL! OUR GOD IS THE LIVING GOD!
Me, waving at him: Excuse me.
Bullhorn Guy: BOW DOWN BEFORE YOUR FALSE GOD!
Me: I'd just like to ask you one quick question.
Bullhorn Guy: JUST A SEC! I HAVE TO ANSWER A QUICK QUESTION!
Me: What church are you with?
Bullhorn Guy: WHAT CHURCH AM I WITH! (note the punctuation. That was distinctly not a question mark.) I AM A BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIAN! I AM WASHED IN THE BLOOD OF CHRIST! I WILL GO TO HEAVEN WHEN I DIE!
Me: Excuse me, would you call yourself an Evangelical?
Bullhorn Guy: YOU CATHOLICS ARE GOING TO HELL!
Me: I'm an atheist. (Yeah, I'm not really. But there is no neat label for me.)
Bullhorn Guy: *blink*
Bullhorn Guy: YOUR GOD CAN DIE! THAT'S WHY HE RIDES AROUND IN A POPEMOBILE! OUR GOD IS ETERNAL! OUR GOD IS THE LIVING GOD!

Bullhorn Guy was actually saying, "My God is red hot. Your god ain't doodley squat." And so he has inspired another Painter parody! The tune of "My Girl is Red Hot" started running through my brain, and I knew I just couldn't rest until I had unmerciufully tortured another song. So, with apologies to Ronnie Hawkins & the Hawks:

My God is Red Hot

My God is red hot - your god aint doodley squat!
Yeah! My God is red hot - your god aint doodley squat
Well my God's eternal, but your god's gonna rot.

Well I gotta go out and spread the news,
My god don't like Catholics and Jooos,
My God is red hot - your god aint doodley squat! (repeat)
Well my god's eternal, but your god's gonna rot.

Well your religion is a joke, mine is pure
When my kids get sick, my God's the only cure
My God is red hot - your god aint doodley squat! (repeat)
Well my god's eternal, but your god's gonna rot.
Oh rock it...

Well your God's false, my God's true
I'm goin' to heaven no matter what I do
My God is red hot - your god aint doodley squat! (repeat)
Well my God's eternal, but your god's gonna rot.

Well out of all the gods, my God's the best,
He don't like them cultists in the L-D-S
My God is red hot - your god aint doodley squat! (repeat)
Well my God's eternal, but your god's gonna rot.

Wonder if Bullhorn Guy and his merry band are Huckabee supporters?

- JP